Actions speak louder than words

Any eye contact that persists beyond a few seconds makes us nervous.
People smile for all sorts of reasons, only one of which is to signal happiness.
In the end, body language conveys important but unreliable clues.
Nick Morgan

Nonverbal communication (NVC) is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages.
NVC can be communicated through
gesture;
body language or posture;
facial expression and eye contact;
object communication such as clothing, hairstyles or even architecture.
Speech may also contain nonverbal elements known as paralanguage, including voice quality, emotion and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Likewise, written texts have nonverbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement of words, or the use of emoticons.

Broadly speaking, there are two basic categories of non-verbal language: nonverbal messages produced by the body; nonverbal messages produced by the broad setting (time, space, silence)

Why is non-verbal communication important?
Basically, it is one of the key aspects of communication (and especially important in a high-context culture). It has multiple functions:
Used to repeat the verbal message (e.g. point in a direction while stating directions.
Often used to accent a verbal message. (e.g. verbal tone indicates the actual meaning of the specific words).
Often complement the verbal message but also may contradict. E.g.: a nod reinforces a positive message (among Americans); a “wink” may contradict a stated positive message.
Regulate interactions (non-verbal cues covey when the other person should speak or not speak).
May substitute for the verbal message (especially if it is blocked by noise, interruption, etc) — i.e. gestures (finger to lips to indicate need for quiet), facial expressions (i.e. a nod instead of a yes).

We start forming impressions of people we meet from the moment we set eyes on them. A large part of the initial impression that you create comes from your body language. Your posture, facial expression, eye contact, and gestures speak louder than the words you say. We all interpret body language all the time on a subconscious level.

1. Face
The face is the most expressive part of the body. If you are feeling anxious then your facial expression may lead you to appear aloof, disapproving, or disinterested. You can break this misrepresentation by making a conscious effort to smile. Your smile is one of the strongest tools you have in meeting new people. It will help you appear warm, open, friendly, and confident.

2. Eyes
Our eyes give clues to our emotions. A direct stare implies intensity. It may also mean romantic interest, aggression, or fear. Making very little eye contact can either convey shyness or submissiveness. The middle ground of a gaze says that you are interested, secure, and at ease.

3. Hands
Your hands are also very expressive. Open gestures tend to make you appear open and honest. By pointing your finger, or moving your hands closer together, you can draw emphasis to what you are saying. Used in moderation, hand gestures can make you seem enthusiastic and committed to your topic. Making too many gestures can make you appear nervous and uncontrolled. Wringing your hands or touching your sleeves, face, etc. can make you appear tense, nervous, and sometimes dishonest.

4. Posture
The way you hold yourself, your posture, makes a big contribution to your body language and conveys your level of self-confidence. By orienting your body towards someone, you show attentiveness. By falling away from them or leaning back, you show a lack of interest and some level of reserve. When we are feeling low in confidence and want to hide away, we hunch our shoulders and keep our heads down. When we are feeling aggressive or are trying to defend our space, we puff ourselves up. A relaxed body posture will help you to appear and feel more relaxed and confident.
Your posture gives signals about your interest in something, your openness, and attentiveness. It also gives clues as to your status within a group.

Proxemics
is the study of how people use and perceive the physical space around them. The space between the sender and the receiver of a message influences the way the message is interpreted.
Proxemics was first developed by Edward T. Hall during the 1950s and 60s.

Chronemics
is the study of the use of time in nonverbal communication. The way we perceive time, structure our time and react to time is a powerful communication tool, and helps set the stage for communication.

Kinesics
is the study of body movements, facial expressions, and gestures. It was developed by anthropologist Ray L. Birdwhistell in the 1950s.

Haptics
is the study of touching as nonverbal communication. Touches that can be defined as communication include handshakes, holding hands, kissing (cheek, lips, hand), back slapping, high fives, a pat on the shoulder, and brushing an arm. Touching of oneself may include licking, picking, holding, and scratching

The study of the role of eyes in nonverbal communication is sometimes referred to as "oculesics". Eye contact can indicate interest, attention, and involvement.

Paralanguage
(sometimes called vocalics) is the study of nonverbal cues of the voice. Various acoustic properties of speech such as tone, pitch and accent, collectively known as prosody, can all give off nonverbal cues. Paralanguage may change the meaning of words.
The linguist George L. Trager developed a classification system which consists of the voice set, voice qualities, and vocalization.

Cultural Differences in
Non-verbal Communication
General Appearance and Dress
All cultures are concerned for how they look and make judgments based on looks and dress.
Americans, for instance, appear almost obsessed with dress and personal attractiveness.
Consider differing cultural standards on what is attractive in dress and on what constitutes modesty.
Note ways dress is used as a sign of status.

Body Movement
We send information on attitude toward person (facing or leaning towards another), emotional statue (tapping fingers, jiggling coins), and desire to control the environment (moving towards or away from a person).
More than 700,000 possible motions we can make — so impossible to categorize them all! But just need to be aware the body movement and position is a key ingredient in sending messages.

Posture
Consider the following actions and note cultural differences:
Bowing (not done, criticized, or affected in US; shows rank in Japan)
Slouching (rude in most Northern European areas)
Hands in pocket (disrespectful in Turkey)
Sitting with legs crossed (offensive in Ghana, Turkey)
Showing soles of feet. (Offensive in Thailand, Saudi Arabia)

Gestures
Impossible to catalog them all. Even simple things like using hands to point and count differ.
Pointing : US with index finger; Germany with little finger; Japanese with entire hand (in fact most Asians consider pointing with index finger to be rude)
Counting: Thumb = 1 in Germany, 5 in Japan, middle finger for 1 in Indonesia.

Facial Expressions
Many Asian cultures suppress facial expression as much as possible.
Many Mediterranean (Latino / Arabic) cultures exaggerate grief or sadness while most American men hide grief or sorrow.
Too much smiling is viewed in as a sign of shallowness.
Women smile more than men.

Eye Contact and Gaze
In USA, eye contact indicates:
degree of attention or interest,
influences attitude change or persuasion,
regulates interaction,
communicates emotion,
defines power and status,
and has a central role in managing impressions of others.

Western cultures — see direct eye to eye contact as positive (advise children to look a person in the eyes). But within USA, African-Americans use more eye contact when talking and less when listening with reverse true for Anglo Americans. This is a possible cause for some sense of unease between races in US. A prolonged gaze is often seen as a sign of sexual interest.
Arabic cultures make prolonged eye-contact. — believe it shows interest and helps them understand truthfulness of the other person. (A person who doesn’t reciprocate is seen as untrustworthy)
Japan, Africa, Latin American, Caribbean — avoid eye contact to show respect.

Touch
USA — handshake is common (even for strangers), hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender or of family (usually) on an increasingly more intimate basis. Note differences between African-Americans and Anglos in USA. Most African Americans touch on greeting but are annoyed if touched on the head.
Islamic and Hindu: typically don’t touch with the left hand. To do so is a social insult. Left hand is for toilet functions. Mannerly in India to break your bread only with your right hand (sometimes difficult for non-Indians)
Islamic cultures generally don’t approve of any touching between genders (even hand shakes). But consider such touching (including hand holding, hugs) between same-sex to be appropriate.
Many Asians don’t touch the head (Head houses the soul and a touch puts it in jeopardy).

Smell
USA — fear of natural smells (billion dollar industry to mask objectionable odors with what is perceived to be pleasant ) — again connected with “attractiveness” concept.
Many other cultures consider natural body odors as normal (Arabic).
Asian cultures (Filipino, Malay, Indonesian, Thai, Indian) stress frequent bathing — and often criticize USA of not bathing often enough!

Paralanguage
vocal characterizers (laugh, cry, yell, moan, whine, belch, yawn). These send different messages in different cultures (Japan — giggling indicates embarrassment; India – belch indicates satisfaction)
vocal qualifiers (volume, pitch, rhythm, tempo, and tone). Loudness indicates strength in Arabic cultures and softness indicates weakness; indicates confidence and authority to the Germans,; indicates impoliteness to the Thais; indicates loss of control to the Japanese. (Generally, one learns not to “shout” in Asia for nearly any reason!). Gender based as well: women tend to speak higher and more softly than men.
vocal segregates (un-huh, shh, uh, ooh, mmmh, humm, eh, mah, lah). Segregates indicate formality, acceptance, assent, uncertainty.

How can you tell an American from a Frenchman ?
Make him count 1,2,3,4,... : the American will start with the little finger and end with the thumb, the Frenchman just the opposite.
Make him walk : the American will move his arms and take a lot of space, the Frenchman will be much stiffer
Make him hug : the American will look as if he was afraid of bad breath, stay as far as possible and give big hits on the back of the other person ; the Frenchman , like the Spanish, will actually TOUCH the body of the other person and act as if he was enjoying it
Put him in an elevator : the American will talk (the French will try to avoid any eye contact)
Make him (and particularly, make her) laugh and hear and see the difference in the level of noise and in muscular activity...
Make him say "everything is OK" : he will form a circle joining thumb and index (in French, this gesture means : "zero")
Enjoy a meal with him : he will put his bread on his plate (the French put it on the table) and his hands on his thighs (the French put them on the table)

UNIVERSAL HAND GESTURES

AMERICAN GESTURES

AMERICAN GESTURES - HEAD

LEGS AND FEET

ARMS, HANDS, AND FINGERS

HOW VARIOUS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD VIEW AMERICANS
Carelessness: With dress, possession, time, money. rules, manners, ceremonies, nature, relationships, politics, and more.
Generous/Hospitable: As victors in war, as neighbors, as UN benefactors.
Self Indulgent: Pursuing material things.
Sentimental/Romantic: Prone to extremes in emotional expression; open.
Materialistic: Usually honest; ambition and success are paramount; vastness.
Confident and Self-confident: Even brash, yet demand almost too much of self.
Complacent Yet Arrogant: Ethnocentric, embarrassingly so; misunderstand honor.
Colonists: Ethnocentrically imperialistic; disregard for other systems; overly proud of own systems.
Competitive Yet Egalitarian: A paradox to most in children to adult varieties; class and rank may be temporary; no real aristocracy.
Resourceful: combining all of the above; lovers of common sense and results, inventions, innovation, and flexibility; "now" oriented.
Independent and Difference: Individually feeling not to :fit other's mold," but fiercely if encroached upon as an American.